The Blog as Shrink

I'm depressed now and I'm not quite sure why that is. I suppose it's because many things are going on at the same time. None of these things is particularly terrible and while even my rational side keeps telling its irrational counterpart that there is nothing to worry about, it is this irrational counterpart that is winning out, like it always does.

So here's what has to be done over the next few days:
1. The front struts of my car are leaking and need to be replaced: $500
2. I need to order a glove compartment for the SL to be sent to Manila: $300
3. Some of the house is being painted: $1,900
4. Finding the source of my current depression: Priceless

That's why I'm so fucking depressed! Family funds, wherever they are coming from, are being reduced by $2,700--let's say $3,000 including unforseen expenditures--that's over P150,000! Sonofabitch! It's not like we're going poor, but shit, that is a lot of money!

It's been said before that whoever said that money couldn't buy happiness was a poor person. That's only half-right. Whoever said that was also an idiot. If I was wealthy I certainly wouldn't be depressed and I certainly wouldn't be worrying about three grand. Let's go visit Bill Gates in his $97M mansion by Lake Washington and see what a friggin' sad sack he is.

But that's not all of what's getting to me right now. There is also the matter of time to deal with, time as in the utter lack thereof. School begins on Wednesday. That's cool. Two days to do the following:

1. Fix up the kitchen - done Sunday night
2. Vacuum and shampoo living room carpet - Monday
3. Arrange all displaced furniture of living room - Monday, after carpet cleaning of course
4. Get struts fixed - Monday or Tuesday or Friday for 3 hours
5. Go to Mercedes dealer in Silver Spring to see about glove box - Monday, from 1 to 1.5 hours

To top it all of, I sent my academic advisor an email last thursday hoping to meet with him either the friday just passed or on Monday, which if he replies (he hasn't yet) yes to will mean I have to go to GW in DC and meet with him ASAP and that is NGTBGM (not going to be good, man). This is the first time I've ever hoped to be turned down by a professor.

It's not like I have to do all this on my own. I have help as far as getting the house in order is concerned, but with the daycare in the house we have to work around that too.

I know I'm making too much out of this and I seem to be the only one in the house worried about all this. I just dislike responsibility. I always do what I must, but I don't like doing it a lot of the time. When one grows up in an upper-class family in the Philippines, as I did, one doesn't need to do much. There were always people to do things for me, and things are never as expensive nor the rules ever as stirct as they are here in America. But here in the States, I'm far from upper class. The Peso is so weak and doesn't amount to much. The cost of things here may not be much for a Dollar-earner but is very prohibitive for those who earn in Philippine Pesos. I have to do things for myself now, and by myself, too. I like to think that I have so much more to do than the average well-to-do Filipino college student, who, it seems to me, barring any degenerate behavior, need not worry about much more than his grades. I've gotten used to it over the years, but I still get overwhelmed, and I still get depressed, that's all.