My Trip to Costco

I am a proud price club member. I go to the price club because I am frugal and down-to-earth, and because I recognize and appreciate great value when I see it. I also go because I am cheap.

I really hate going to the price club because it's always crowded. It's bad enough going there alone, but it becomes a nightmare when I go there with more than one other person in tow, because it's a statistical surety that someone from the group (i.e. me) will leave to look at the DVD's and will later on spend a long, long time peeking into every aisle in a seemingly futile attempt to find out where the hell everyone else has gotten to amidst a sea of fellow cheapskates. But if I must go to the price club, I must, and I prefer to do so during odd hours under the assumption that everyone else but me has something better to do than go to the freaking price club on a weekend night.

So tonight, Saturday night, was one of those times when my sister and I had to go in order to stock up nuestra casa. I had a plan all laid out--we would go at around 6 PM and enjoy a decent parking space and some room to actually move around inside the store. When we got there at ten-to-seven, the parking lot was virtually empty. "Jackpot!" I cried. I was giddy and giggling like a little girl. I imagined there would be few people there tonight, but not that few. My timing was perfect. I had outsmarted everyone. I am a fucking genius!

As you have probably already figured out, it was closed. As it turns out, the price club closes at six on Saturdays. Apparently, even price club employees have better things to do on a Saturday night than be in the price club. Jesus, I am such a loser.